This Is Not My Week


Someone says that Monday sets the pace for the rest of the week. If that’s the case, this week is bound to suck ass.

Sunday, I wouldn’t say I hurt myself at the gym but you know what… I hurt myself at the gym. I was with the trainer and we began learning deadlifts. I’ve always said that I wasn’t going to do them until I was taught how to do them. You can hurt yourself if you don’t know proper form and with my weight, nothing is proper form. So, we attempted them and I could not get it right and thus started the minor back pain.

After deadlifts, we went over to the leg press machine. Me and my short legs have to lift up our butt in order to clear the safety. When I came back down, I was not in the seat properly and basically was putting all the weight on my unsupported back. YUP. That killed me but I tried to work through it with proper form on the next sets.

Later on after my session, we were going over form on lunges and squats, because I favor my bummed knee when I don’t have a brace of some type. So we were attempted to correct that and of course, trying to do exercises with an already hurt back and bad form, I literally killed my back.

Pain meds and staying off my feet, I should be fine in the morning. Monday, I went to the gym with gusto even though I didn’t feel 100%. I attempted to do exercises that would have nothing to do with my back like chest and shoulders. I had so stamina, no energy, and just wasn’t feeling it. After the workout, I had to get ready for a funeral. See… Monday sucked!

By that point, I started doubting myself and my abilities to do this. How can I work other people if I can’t work myself. I honestly don’t know. I felt ready to give up on the entire personal trainer idea. I always say the same thing and my wife says the same thing too, I can’t compare myself to others. And I know I have a way to go before it is even possible. There is a girl on Instagram. Actually, there are a lot of girls on Instagram that inspire me. I will post links at the bottom* SO… These girls have all lost 170+ pounds with diet and exercise, two of them have go on to start working with other people to help them.

One of the girls took 4 years to drop 200lbs. I keep wanting right now because I am so miserable that I need to be my best self NOW. I know there are no quick fixes and I have to put in the work. I have to stay consistent. And honestly, if I can get down to my goal and keep it off then I think I will be ready to help others. My journey started after theirs. So, while I admire this women on Instagram, I know I have a way to go.

I did skip Tuesday because of some self-loathing, but I was back at the gym today. Better workout, but not fully mentally there. I put the work in physically, just not mentally. Tomorrow, I will get have another leg day and Friday should be cardio. I want to be ready for trainer day on Sunday.

Instagram People I Admire

There are definitely more… but those are three that have put in the time and effort to make a difference.